Saturday, August 16, 2008

cohabitation or marriage

Some couples believe that marriage is just a bureaucracy, a paper doesn't mean anything, love is what counts. According to them, living together is a more romantic relationship. They feel that by living together without legal bonds they will be afraid of losing each other. Thus they will be more careful with each other and their relationship. On the surface, that may seem like good reasoning. But is such relationship usually more stable than legal marriage?

Cohabitants are more readily available to someone else. When problems arose, they are more inclined to run away from each other than to sit down and resolve matters. When we reflect on how unwed partners may view their belongings, it is usually divided into "my" things and "your" things. Some carefully keep receipts and engrave or write their names on the things they buy—just in case….. Does that sound like the basis for a stable, enduring relationship? What happens if the time comes when the couple decides to split up? Dividing up belongings can be a real problem, resulting in arguments and great injustices. For instance, if the woman has taken care of the children and the household, she may run the risk of being left destitute because her partner earned the money and bought most of the things. There may be little she can do legally because they are unwed. So what happens to her when they separate?

Some couples say that they live together for a time just to see if they are compatible for marriage. They feel that their future marriage will be more stable as a result. But if we are going to take a look at it, the divorce/separation rate in countries where this practice has been common is increasing.

There are effects that couple's living together without marriage can have on others. There are still many who consider it wrong and even immoral to live together that way. Parents or grandparents may feel unhappy, embarrassed, and worried when their children or grandchildren just live together. Contact between the generations may be threatened. When parents make and break relationships, it can lead to cases where several children without a common set of parents are brought together in the same home. This may leave the children feeling confused, insecure and had serious psychological problems. There are other far-reaching effects when couples live together without marriage. As such relationships are not registered, authorities cannot take effective account of them and apply laws to them. Some couples decide not to marry in order to avoid unfavorable taxation and the loss of certain pensions and other social benefits.

Aside from the moral and social implications, there is another even more important consideration. The Scriptural view of this matter may be of little or no importance to many of those who live together without marriage. But to those who want to apply God's commandments, it is vital. According to the Bible, legal marriage is the only form of cohabitation between a man and a woman that is authorized by man's Creator. The Bible shows that God brought the first human pair together in a marriage. One purpose was companionship. As mentioned in the bible in the book of Genesis, it is not good for the man to live his life alone so a woman was created, as a complement of him. Another purpose was reproduction. In the same book it is said that a man and a woman must be fruitful and become many and fill the earth. This was not meant to be a trial arrangement/marriage because it is evident from the Bible that a man will leave his father and his mother and he must stick to his wife and they must become one flesh.

Although, today, every man and woman is imperfect and many marriages end in divorce and separation, the legalized marriage still constitutes the most secure and firmly established form of cohabitation between a man and a woman in society today. No other form of cohabitation offers the same degree of protection and security to all parties, including the children, that legalized marriage does.

In cohabitation, it just living together, but in marriage, couples began to build a much closer, more loving, and more responsible relationship, one that includes a third party – God.

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